Weather It Is (Not Too Hot)

Good Morning:

Yesterday I received a complaint from a fine lady.  She said if there was another "not-too-hot" day like today (tomorrow) then she would be beside herself.  Now, I must mention that my sister hates (or least hated) the word "lady" to describe that part of the human race that isn't male, but I am pretty sure that this person carries a parasol, and that even with the parasol it was just "too-hot."

Yet, it wasn't.

Sure, it was hot, but it wasn't too hot.  In fact, it was a whole 2 degrees C cooler in our part of town, and a good 7 or so degrees cooler down in the valleys below.  Moreover, while today will be sort-of-hot, it will be definitely be less hot than yesterday. It turns out that the 50% chance we had of today being just as not-too-hot as yesterday has become a zero percent chance. What this means is that the atmosphere hinted on Friday and Saturday that today (Tuesday) could be another very-warm (okay hot) day, but by Sunday afternoon we could see that such was not going to be so. Had I updated the blog, I would have mentioned this. Of course, the web site did (automatically making note of this -- at www.weather-it-is-israel.com).

Now, this whole academic, logical, and rational discussion is really besides the point to the lady who was just "too-hot," rather than "not-to-hot."  And here in lies the rub, as they say, or if I might step into the frying pan I will.

We all know that women need understanding and men need appreciation, as written quite convincingly in "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus."  This means that once a women has a "complaint," it's too late for the men to save themselves (see below) -- the horse has left the barn, the boulder has already started rolling down the hill, and the avalanche of whatever is already upon us (him in this case).

Now, I am going to tell you (men) how to "game" the system -- to save yourself, so to speak. When the wife says "there's no garlic," you don't say: "I bought garlic last week," or, "we can get by."  You say, "oy, that's terrible, what will we do without it?!"  When the wife says the garbage smells, you don't say: "I took it out yesterday." You say: "it really does stink, I can smell it too."  You see, you commiserate, you understand her "pain."

The problem is, and I have to warn you (men), that there is something called: "women-hood."  It is the collective of women that exist on this planet (and Venus) that look out for each other.  When a husband (falsely?) expresses his understanding too many times, a wife will hear a buzzing in her head.  If you do what I've told you too many times, you will hear it too.  Then, the only thing you can do is run to take out the garbage (before things get any worse).

But, honestly, the best way to stay on the good and safe side of this collective is to take out the garbage before it smells and to buy garlic once a week until the wife says: "why do we have so much garlic?!"  (I.e, where am I suppose to put this -- now that the counter is covered in garlic.)  In other words, solve the problem before it happens -- that's what true understanding is.

Along those lines, I've gone to great lengths to make sure that today's weather will be noticeably cooler than yesterday's , and that it won't get even not-to not-to-hot for the next week, even though summer has indeed arrived.

Barry Lynn