It's been a rainy winter, but the weather (at least the temperatures) are changing. In fact, we don't see any heavy rain events on the horizon, although some dips in temperatures could be accompanied by showers.
The changes harbinger a change in weather regimes as the storm track moves to our north, and higher pressure from the warm south builds further north. I was asked why this winter has been so different from past winters. This is a great question, but the answer will require quite a bit of research to answer. However, we can point out how the past drought has most likely impacted this winter storms. The drought has most likely led to an increase in atmospheric dust, which when absorbed into storms often leads to an increase in lightning. As to our extended winter, we can say storm tracks were consistently passing through the eastern Mediterranean, and that there was plenty of cold air to our north over Scandinavia and Siberia to spin up these storms into significant rain storms. But, as to what led to the increase in storms, that's an open research question.
People also wonder if there is really something to the "mother in law" thing. One person said to me: "I lived for 20 years with my mother in law, and now 20 years later I finally miss her." On the other hand, you find people who really like their mother in laws. The article here (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/family/relationships/relationship-women-theirmothers-in-law-often-fraught-itneednt/) offers some possible reasons why it can be hard to get along with your mother in law, but (I am guessing that) there are plenty of people who do get along with there mother in laws. One might also keep in mind that one child or the other may act differently in the home of their parents, and suddenly the new bride, for example, finds herself married to a different person.
Another question people have wondered about is whether there is anything left to us after death. People report seeing a "light," and some attribute this to the afterworld, while others say that there is a (not) simple scientific explanation (https://www.seeker.com/why-we-see-the-white-light-near-death-1791574897.html). This was especially relevant because my mother in law, Aziza Shula Romano, passed away after a very long illness that suddenly progressed to her end. One evening, but a few days before the wedding of my nephew, she reported seeing a bright light. When it was pointed out that the lights of the hospital were quite bright, she insisted that no, this was the light of G-d. Later, she was asked why if she could see the light of G-d she couldn't ask for an extension to her own life until after wedding. She responded that it was written on the door to "heaven" that this was her time and that she would have to "enjoy" the wedding from above.
Regardless, let's just say that watching someone arrive at their end was not pleasant. I was and am very sad. I asked myself, how can this be? She was just my mother in law, not my real mother. Yet, I don't remember ever arguing with her, or finding anything she ever said to be disagreeable. She just encouraged me to be a good husband and father, and that we and our children should be blessed. I had the opportunity to explore my "strange" reaction during the eulogies, which I have included here.
Shula:
Shula was special – very special.
We all lived under her special Neshama, and our children grew up knowing their Safta. What a Safta. She cared for everyone and they cared for her. Yet, this would never have happened if not for the dedication of her children, who took care of her – especially my wife, Rachel. Rachel did not give of herself hours in a week, but days in a week to nurture and to love her mother, to care for her, and to bring her until this point where she (Shula) said: enough is enough. I am too tired to continue – but not to bless all of you with health and happiness.
One might wonder why I am crying? After all, Shula was the dreaded “Mother in Law.” Yet, like she said I was her son, she was really my mother – my other mother, and just as I love my mother, I loved and still do my “other” mother.
How did she become my mother? Well, I married Rachel, but of course that is not enough. She became my mother because she knew how to communicate, to listen, and understand, and to act on her understandings. [When my wife was late to our first meeting and] When I called from the restaurant and in my broken Hebrew asked: “where is Rachel,” she said: “Don’t worry, she’s coming,” and I knew [understood] what she said and what she meant. And Rachel arrived, and so did Safta’s grand children.
Yet, it must be said that my wife might never have arrived if not for her mother’s sacrifice. After sustaining an injury to her head, she was told that she should end the pregnancy or risk losing her eye. She didn’t end the pregnancy, but she did lose her eye.
And, then, as she grew older and developed a cataract in her only “good” eye, she turned down the opportunity to have cataract surgery. Thus, with time she became not just blind in one eye, but blind in the second.
Yet, she could never be blind to our love for her or we her love for us.
I spoke to her last Erev Shabbat at her home, one-on-one. I don’t remember exactly what I said and certainly the time was too short as it always is in the end. I didn’t thank her for Rachel, my wife – I’d already done that as I do every day.
And now, I miss her voice. I want to hear her voice!
When Safta became ill, I decided to read Psalm 26 for her every day. I’ve done this for 10 years now, except for Hagim. I read and read and read it again, with always her in mind – in the hope that this prayer would give her another day to be with us. It describes her so well, and here it is (
[We should have only good tidings.]
Barry Lynn
[We should have only good tidings.]
Barry Lynn
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